SuburbanDaddy

When I was a kid, we didn’t wear bike helmets. No one did. I don’t even remember seeing bike helmets sold in stores. We also didn’t wear seat belts in cars. We were idiots.

Today I wear a seat belt and use a bike helmet. It never would occur to my kids that people don’t do both of these, all the time. And that’s a good thing. But there are still non-believers out there, I guess.

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Thing 3 got a birthday present in the mail. It was a fairly large sized box, and the Things were very, very excited. And very eager to “help” their one year old brother play with his new toy.

This isn’t like Christmas, where each Thing has their own presents to keep them occupied. This is a feeding frenzy. It’s survival of the fittest. The Things are climbing over each other, trying to get to the front so they can see what’s in the box. They are grabbing, pushing, and, in Thing 3’s case, crawling to get on top. [Read more →]

Dads are used to being the Rodney Dangerfield of parents. We don’t get no respect. Our culture is filled with reminders like Parenting Magazine’s tagline: “What matters to moms”.

Father’s Day provides the ultimate salt in the wound. BusinessWeek reports that in 2005, consumers spent $11 billion on Mother’s Day vs $8 billion on Father’s Day.

Take a guess when is the busiest collect call day of the year. Yup, we make dads foot the bill to talk to their kids on Father’s Day.

Personally, I don’t need or expect a big production on Father’s Day. Just let me stay in bed until 7am, eat my meals sitting down at a table, and let me watch the last hour of the U.S. Golf Open.

I suspect most of my audience will vote for “Equal” in the poll. I also expect there will be some, probably the dads, who say Mother’s Day is the bigger holiday. I doubt there will be any votes for Father’s Day as the bigger holiday.

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Each day I pick up the Things at preschool/daycare and the ride home is no more than 15 minutes, but the conversations are priceless. Thing 2 is very excited to tell me about his day. Any random thought that pops into his head is expressed.

Every sentence starts the same way with “Daddy. Daddy. Daddy.” He will keep saying “Daddy” until I acknowledge him with either a “yes”, or by turning around to look at him.

Today, I tried not responding just to see how many times he would say my name. I counted 9 Daddy’s before I finally said “yes”. To get an idea what that is like, say this out loud: Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. Now do that for 15 minutes, the length of our ride.

Here is the gist of our conversation today. [Read more →]

Thing 2 has discovered a new skill. He is able to raise a single eyebrow. He likes to watch himself do it in the mirror, and each time, it’s like he just discovered it for the first time.

Thing 1 plays on a soccer team. At this age, it’s more of an organized play time than an actual soccer game. But he really enjoys it. I’m sure it’s a hint of what my life will become in a few years as all three kids get into it.

Each week, it is one parent’s job to bring the snack for the team. Bags of crackers, cookies, or pretzels are the norm. This week, the parent decided to bring frozen fruit flavored ice push ups. It’s like a popsicle, except smaller, fatter, and harder to open without making a mess. Especially when it is half melted from sitting in a cooler for an hour with not enough ice.

All the other parents cringed when they saw the team emerge from the snack huddle with frozen treats in hand. The kids loved it for about 6 seconds. That’s how long it takes for the popsicle to be pushed up too far and fall on the grass.

Maybe it is this parent’s way of playing a joke on the rest of us. Ha ha ha. Very funny.

I was surprised to learn that many child development experts agree that linking an allowance to the completion of chores is not the best approach. I would have thought the opposite, but it kind of makes sense.

Giving money for bigger chores is ok. But regular, everyday chores, like taking out the garbage or cleaning up after dinner, are responsibilities they should be doing without monetary reward.

If daily chores are only done to get paid, then when kids get older, and have other streams of money, they’ll stop doing the chores because they don’t need the money. Makes sense.

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Everyone has their own God given talents. Unique skills which separate them from the pack. Sometimes the talent is, indeed, a gift. Playing the piano is a gift. Hitting a golf ball 300 yards is a gift. But sometimes, the “gift” is not something we want to have. In those cases, we’d rather be like everyone else.

But we can’t escape what we have been given. To quote Spider-Man’s Uncle Ben, “With great power comes great responsibility“.

And so, with great reluctance, I have come to recognize a talent of mine for what it is - a gift. I’m still not sure what I’m meant to do with it, but maybe someday I’ll know.

What is this great talent of mine? I can identify the smell of my kid’s poop. Yes, with a room full of people, when I hear, “Who has a dirty diaper?”, I can definitively claim, “Oh, that’s Thing 2″ just by catching a whiff.

It’s not something I wanted. Or that I’m particularly proud of. But I have accepted it as one of my “gifts”.