Category: parents today

If Adults Were Like Two Year Olds

Two year olds are notorious for their moody, irrational behavior. It’s called the terrible two’s for a reason. Imagine if the terrible two’s never ended. What would life be like?

Well, for starters, I certainly wouldn’t show up to work on time. I would go only when I felt like it. If I felt like it.

When I finally did get to work and walked into a meeting, late, I would immediately cause a huge uproar because someone was already sitting in the chair I wanted. When the other person refused to change seats, because they also were acting like a two year old, I would throw myself on the floor, face down, and cry for a good 5 minutes. Then I would be in the best mood ever and act as if the last 10 minutes never happened.

At lunch, I’d order my favorite meal which I would eat three times a day: ice cream. When I got the ice cream, I would get really, really mad because it was in the wrong kind of bowl. Which bowl would have been the right kind? Trick question. They are ALL the wrong kind.

On the weekend I would visit a friend’s house. When I got there, I would touch everything and climb on the furniture. I would go to their bedroom, dump out all the drawers, and change all the settings on their alarm clocks. Then I would take off my clothes and pee on the carpet. But my friend wouldn’t care, because he’d be doing the same thing.

When it was time to go home, I’d get in my car and drive on the wrong side of the street. Just because I felt like it. And, of course, I would have a piece of Tupperware on my head which I stole from my friend’s house.

Yes, life as a two year old would be pretty good.

The Accomplice

I just sent Thing 1 and Thing 2 to play in the basement so I can eat my breakfast. We are finally at the point where they can play down there together for extended periods without causing too much trouble.

I also sent Thing 3 with them. He is not quite at the point where he can be alone with his brothers and not cause trouble.

I know exactly how this situation will end up. Either Thing 3 will hit someone, mess up whatever game they are playing, or press all the buttons on the TV so the Wii doesn’t work.

I suppose, then, I am an accomplice to whatever he does. That’s something I’m willing to take because I really just need 5 minutes to eat breakfast.

There Is No Such Thing As A Sick Day

In the movie A League Of Their Own, Tom Hanks memorably exclaims “There’s no crying in baseball”.

Well, in the world of parenting, unfortunately, there are no sick days.

I’m entering day 3 of the worst cough, sore throat, headache, congestion you can imagine. Yesterday I was able to take a sick day at work.

But there was no sick day from parenting. I still had to get the Things dressed, fed, and take them to school. In the afternoon, I still had to do 3 separate art projects in 3 different classrooms as part of Parents Appreciation Week because I committed to it before I got sick. I still had to do a triple bath night, and a Lego project with Thing 3 I had promised him for Friday night because I wasn’t able to be at his Parents Appreciation event because the school scheduled all three at the same time.

Parents Appreciation Week? That’s when the preschool schedules a week’s worth of activities for you with your kids when they’d otherwise be far away at school.

Now today is Saturday and it’s more of the same. But it’s the weekend, you say? Time to get some rest?

In my world, there is another reality which is, There Is No Resting On Weekends.

Kids And iPhones

This is what happens when a four year old gets his hands on an iPhone. I’m amazed how easily he can unlock it, operate it, and figure out how to do stuff.

Here is Thing 2’s work. First he took some pictures of himself. Then, after taking the one of me from the back, he tells Thing 1 he took a picture of daddy’s butt. They both break into laughter.

Thing 2 will definitely be that guy one day who sits on the copier to photocopy his butt.

Zhu Zhu Pet Recall Is A Scam?

zhuI have yet to see one of these things, or have one of my kids ask for one, but Zhu Zhu Pets are the undisputed hot toy of the year.? They are flying off the shelves like Cabbage Patch dolls and Rubik’s Cube back in my day.

Now, there is talk of a safety concern about Zhu Zhu Pets.? And there is even a rumor that there may be a recall of Zhu Zhu Pets soon.? Right before Christmas!

Well, SuburbanDaddy has his own theory about this brewing scandal.? You know how I love a good controversy or conspiracy theory.

We all know how crazed parents can get during the holidays, trying to find a sold out toy to give their kids for Christmas or Hanukkah.? Politely give up your parking space at the toy store?? Are you kidding?? That’s one more person who will get to the toys before you.? There was a movie made about just this scenario with Arnold Schwarzenegger called Jingle All The Way.

That’s why I’m thinking there is a crazed parent behind all this talk of a recall and unsafe toys.? What better way for a parent to be able to find a Zhu Zhu Pet than to start a rumor about a recall?? All of a sudden there will be parents trying to unload their toys before Christmas faster than the executives at Enron dumped their company stock.

It’s brilliant.

Are Baby Einstein Videos Educational?

Every parent knows about Baby Einstein videos.? The company was started in the 1990’s by Julie Clark.? They combine classical music, colors, moving images, and babies are mesmerized by them.

The videos started out very low budget.? In the early ones you can see the operators hands working the toys.? Eventually, the company was bought by Disney and the new ones have more animated characters and video effects.? There was always an underlying premise, even if it wasn’t explicitly stated, that these videos were educational, or at least, that it was better for a child than other television shows.

Well, Baby Einstein has been in the news recently and it’s been causing a bit of a stir.? And you know how much SuburbanDaddy loves a good controversy :-)

Under pressure from parent activists, Disney issued an “upgrade” policy that allows anyone who purchased Baby Einstein DVD’s between 2004 and 2009, to exchange it for a book, music CD, or $15.99.

There are so many crazy parts to this I don’t know where to begin.? First, how could anyone really believe, despite what a marketing message may suggest, that watching these videos could somehow be educational or beneficial to a child?? I mean, is anyone really surprised by Disney’s implicit admission they may have misled consumers.? What?!!? A company trying to sell its products made them sound good?

Everyone knows watching television isn’t the best use of a baby’s time.? But we still do it because, while it may not be as educational as Baby Einstein would want us to believe, it also isn’t quite as harmful as activists warn.? Plus TV is very helpful when you need a few minutes of calm.? I know many kids who watched a lot of TV (me included) that turned into perfectly well adjusted, functioning members of society.

But this is what really gets me.? The videos, at least the early ones, are nothing more than recordings of actual baby toys.? So a baby is seeing the exact same thing as if they were sitting next to the toy, except the toy is on the television instead of in person.? I don’t hear anyone calling for removal of these toys.? It’s like saying watching football is ok in person, but if you watch the exact same game on a television, somehow that becomes harmful.

Where do you stand on this important matter?

Controversy Over Kid Reciting Miracle Speech

I love a good controversy. Especially one that is so ridiculous like this one. There is a video going around on YouTube of a 4 year old kid reciting the Herb Brooks pre-game pep talk. Apparently, he watched the movie Miracle with his dad 150 times and memorized the speech.

The controversy is that a parent let his kid watch a movie 150 times, or that he’s somehow exploiting his kid by posting his video on YouTube. If that were the case, I’d be in big trouble considering how many videos I’ve posted of The Things. I like the video. Maybe the kid has a bright future as an actor.

As for watching a movie that many times, we are probably approaching 30-40 times Thing 3 has watched Toy Story 1 & 2. These days it’s the only thing that will stop his mega-tantrums. Am I giving in? Maybe. But let’s see what you do when you need to get 3 kids to school on time. It’s a small price to pay. And now, after seeing this video, I have more motivation. If we watch another hundred times, maybe I can film him reciting the lines, put it on YouTube, and start a controversy of my own.

Here’s the video so you can decide for yourself

The Best Parts of My Day

I will preface this post by stating clearly, for the record, that I enjoy spending time with my kids.

But I’m sure other parents out there can appreciate this, especially those with more than one kid close in age and young ones like mine. Just because you enjoy spending time with your kids, doesn’t mean you want to spend all your time with your kids.

I can’t be the only one who thinks the best part of my day is after I drop the kids off at preschool and get to my desk at work. I eat a bagel, sip a hot caffeinated beverage, catch up on the day’s headlines, and enjoy the QUIET. Oh yeah, for those co-workers who read my blog, I also get right down to work.

To put yourself into my state of mind when I get to work, check out this old post about why I love Mondays.

The second best part of my day comes after 9 hours of sitting in meetings and in front of a computer. I walk through the door and I get ambushed three times by a little person running full steam and yelling “Daaaaaaaaaaddddddyyyy!” Each one wants to play and tell me what they did during the day. All at the same time.

Well, usually that’s the case. Sometimes I walk into a scene of pure chaos and deafening noise levels. That’s when I quietly close the door and sit in my car for another 20 minutes. Just kidding of course (SuburbanMommy will read this).