SuburbanDaddy

When a three year old is in tantrum mode, the laws of reason and logic don’t apply.
SuburbanDaddy: When you calm down, you can have it back.
It doesn’t matter what “it” is. Could be a toy, pillow, or piece of dirt.
Thing 2: Stop talking. Stop taaalkiiing [whining]
SuburbanDaddy: I can talk if I want. [...]

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Thing 2 wakes up early, usually around 5:30am, and likes to come into our room. It may seem like an early wake up call, but it’s much better than him waking up at 5:30am and screaming until we get him.
He’s very snuggly in the morning, and he likes to lay between SuburbanMommy and me, [...]

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This isn’t my kid, but it is very funny. Especially if you are a Star Wars fan.

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Thing 1 and I were at a window table at Starbucks.  He was enjoying his chocolate milk and cookie.  I had my blueberry muffin and grande green tea.  We were watching the cars in the busy parking lot go by, as the first snow of the year came down.  I guess it was a reflective [...]

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Thing 2 often wakes up in the middle of the night, stands up in his crib, and cries until someone comes to his room. As soon as we leave the room, he starts again, until we usually break down and take him into our bed so we can get some sleep. Recently, we [...]

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On the way to a birthday party with Thing 1, I made a wrong turn and we were not going to make the party in time.
SuburbanDaddy: We turned the wrong way.  We’re going to be a little late.
Thing 1:  Daddy, did we go the wrong way because the directions said to go that way.  Or [...]

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Thing 1: Would a dog be a good pet?
SuburbanMommy: Yes
Thing 1: Would a cat be a good pet?
SuburbanMommy: Yes, a cat is a good pet
Thing 1: Would a whale shark be a good pet?
SuburbanMommy: Probably not
Thing 2: An Oreo is a good pet!

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[after a successful potty attempt]
Thing 1: Going poopie helps your penis get bigger
SuburbanDaddy: What?!
Thing 1: When your penis goes up, the poopie comes down
SuburbanDaddy: Where did you hear that?
Thing 1: From you, daddy

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