Babies Cannot Read

Baby readingThere was a segment on the Today show this morning about the Your Baby Can Read DVD “Early Language Child Development” Program. Apparently, there are parents who, after spending hundreds of dollars on the DVD’s, feel cheated and duped because they believe the program to be a scam. After using the system, their babies were not able to read.

Are we to feel sorry for these parents? News fllash: babies can’t read! I worry about how well these kids will fare in life having such gullible parents. I can just imagine when the kids are in high school…

Kid: “Mom, I need $100 for a school math project”
Parent: “Ok, sure”

Kid: “Dad, I need you to buy me some beer to conduct a science experiment for school”
Parent: “Ok, sure. Do you need any hard stuff?”

Just how many gullible parents are out there who think a DVD can change the course of human development and teach babies to read? Well, if this is any indication, the Your Baby Can Read Facebook Page has over 11,000 fans!

I have an idea. How about a DVD that teaches parents how to not spend money on worthless crap that claims will make your kid smarter? You can have it for only $14.99.

Another Reason Happy Meals Are Perfect Food

McDonald's Happy MealI already knew McDonald’s Happy Meals were the perfect meal for kids. What’s not to like? They are cheap and fast. Kids actually eat them. They come with a new, top quality toy that won’t break for years. And there are choices, but not too many choices that will overwhelm your kids – chicken or hamburger? fries or apples? regular or chocolate milk? It is, quite possibly the perfect meal for kids.

Just when I thought there was nothing that could possibly make Happy Meals any better…I found the Davies McDonalds Happy Meal Project. Sally Davies, a photographer in New York, bought a Happy Meal, left it on the table, and took a picture of it over six months to see how it might change. Or not. It turns out it didn’t change much at all. Sure, it got a little harder. But there was not a speck of mold on the bun or the meat. The french fries remained a nice golden yellow.

No more throwing away half eaten Happy Meals!

Fathers Day Activities

First, I received a fresh assortment of World’s Best Dad collectibles to display proudly in my office for the next year.

Next up, golf with Thing 1 and Thing 2. They’re not quite ready for a real golf course yet, but we’ll be hitting the driving range then 18 holes of mini-golf. I hope to make this a yearly tradition for us on Fathers Day. Next year Thing 3 can join when he is 4, but that might be the end of the tradition.

Last up, the best gift of all, SuburbanMommy will be taking the boys to McDonalds for dinner. So I can enjoy some peaceful time alone with Thing 4, who will probably fall asleep, and I can watch the US Open.

Happy Fathers Day.

Spaghetti Slurping Photo Contest

Of the many promotion requests I receive, this one caught my attention.

Spaghetti KidWhat?s more photogenic than a kid slurping pasta in his or her favorite and quirky way? Well now you have the chance to vote for your favorite photo from spaghetti smiles, to sauce covered faces in the Ronzoni Smart Taste Pasta blogger photo contest. Vote for your favorite photo and a chance to win a $25 gift card. Voting ends June 25th

Take Your Child To No Work Day

Yesterday was take your child to work day, or as it’s officially known, Take Our Daughters And Sons To Work Day. It started in 1993 with just girls but has expanded to boys in 2003.

I get the concept. Give kids an idea what their parents do all day. But that’s hardly what happened yesterday. Thing 1 had a day packed with fun activities and kids programs.

After a breakfast spread of cereals, fruit, and juice boxes, we had a kickoff speaker/pep rally for the hundreds of kids ages 6-12 that were attending.

Then the activities started. More than a dozen to choose from, I had pre-registered Thing 1 and me for five 45 minute sessions including an outdoor obstacle course and kickball, planting flowers for earth day, art projects, a scavenger hunt, and tour of the video studio. In between there was an all you can eat lunch buffett and ice cream party. Then a choice of two movies at the end of the day.

At no point did I engage in normal work day activities. I assure you a typical day for me does not include coloring. The kids did get to observe some work, I guess, if you count the people with no kids who were at their desks trying to work amidst the constant parade of kids asking which activity we’re doing next.

A Big Week

We had a pretty big week recently with the arrival of Thing 4. But this week may be a close rival. At least in the minds of Thing 1 and Thing 2.

The beginning of April means spring, longer, warmer days, and lots of sports events.

Yesterday we had NCAA Basketball’s Final Four. Today is the start of the baseball season. Normally we wouldn’t care about baseball this early. But the opening game this year is Yankees vs. Redsox, an event Thing 1 and Thing 2 are very excited about.

Tomorrow is the NCAA Basketball Championship, with unlikely Butler taking on Duke for the national title. As he is known to do, Thing 2 has become a passionate Butler fan after watching them win one game.

As if this weren’t enough sports excitement for the Suburban Household (SuburbanMommy would say it is plenty), the Masters golf tournament is this week. With the return of Tiger Woods after his, um, injury – that’s how I described his recent hiatus from golf to the kids.

So Much For Sleeping

We are in the middle of probably the biggest snowstorm I’ve ever seen. Snow was coming down last night at a rate of 3-4 inches per hour. We let the kids stay up late last night because we aren’t going anywhere for a long time, and hoped maybe they would sleep late.

Shortly after 6am this morning, Thing 1 woke up and ventured downstairs. Normally that wouldn’t be a problem because he is 6 and knows how to turn the TV on and usually waits for everyone else to wake up.

Except this morning he was excited about the snow and wanted to see how it looked outside.

So he opened the front door to look out the glass storm door. Which set off the alarm and abruptly woke everyone up. If you think waking to an alarm clock is unpleasant, imagine a high decibel, high pitched noise designed to scare burglars away.