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Preschoolers: Trust But Verify

I consider myself somewhat of an authority on the 3 and under set. But with our oldest, Thing 1, we are blazing the trail and learning as we go. Today, we learned a very valuable lesson with preschoolers.

Thing 1 has been talking all week about how his class was having pajama day on Friday. It’s something they do occasionally so it seemed legit. Usually, though, the teachers will post a notice on the bulletin board to remind parents. This time there was no such notice, so I was a bit skeptical.

But, I asked Thing 1 many times this week, “Are you sure you are having pajama day this Friday?”. He assured me he was. I think you see where this is going.

When Suburban Mommy and Thing 1 entered the classroom, he was the only one in pajamas. His friends came up to him laughing and asked why he was wearing pajamas. Then the tears. I know, now, that four years is the age at which kids develop the ability to be embarrassed in front of a group.

From now on, I will make sure to verify whatever preschoolers tell me.

Why Procrastination Is Bad

When Thing 2 stopped using his high chair, over a year ago, we were happy to get it out of the kitchen. They were always climbing on, pushing, or bumping into it, and it freed up some much needed space. I should have given it a good cleaning before moving to the basement storage room. But, I figured I could just clean it the next time we needed it.

That next time was this weekend, when Thing 3 had his first attempt at solid food. That is, if you can consider rice cereal solid food.

Before we could get those adorable pictures above, I had to deal with what happens when you leave food on a high chair for a year. All that nasty-baby-stuff, which gets into every nook and cranny of the chair, turns into even-nastier-impossible-to-get-off stuff.

It’s All About The Routine

Routine truly is the key to handling a 2 year old. Take bedtime. Usually, a source of stalling, tantrums, coaxing, coercing, and finally, a lot of crying. But when a routine is established, bedtime can actually go fairly easily. Here is the current routine with Thing 2. No detail is too small to repeat every day.

Starting at 7pm, put on pajamas
Watch either Backyardigans, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, or Little Einsteins
Tell Thing 2 to stop jumping on the couch…six times
7:30…Get a drink of milk or apple juice. Thing 2 must open and close the refrigerator door by himself or all bets are off
Piggy back ride upstairs
Brush teeth. First daddy brushes, then his turn. Thing 2 rinses the brush off and puts toothbrush into holder himself or all bets are off
Read the same book we’ve read the previous 4 months. Twice.
Two “running hugs” where Thing 2 runs across the room at full speed to hug me while saying “CHICKEN!”. I have no idea how this started, but it is very very important to do it every night
Thing 2 must turn on his music and turn off the light himself or all bets are off
Cover him with a “night-night”. A night-night is one of daddy’s old tee shirts. Thing 2 doesn’t sleep with a blanket, but a blanket has to be in his crib but not touching him
Say goodnight

As I said, it’s all about the routine

How It’s Different The Third Time

Suburban Daddy became a daddy for the third time! (which is why you haven’t heard from me in a while). The birth of #3 is different than the first, and I’ve made some observations along the way.

Compared to #1 and its associated worries (see previous post), the birth of #3 is almost non-eventful. That isn’t to say that the birth of a child is not a big deal. But the whole process is rather matter-of-fact. With the first, you have no idea what life will be like once baby arrives. The birth is the big event that consumes everyone’s attention. You don’t give much thought to the days and months following. With #3, the birth process is a little inconvenience you must get through before getting on with your life, like sitting in traffic on the way to work. This time, as we were heading to the hospital at 11am, I remember thinking Hopefully the baby will be born by dinner so I don’t have to eat hospital food again, and I can get to bed at a decent hour. (He wasn’t born until 11:16pm and I ate dinner from a vending machine).

When we left the hospital with #1, we had the brand new car seat (which we couldn’t figure out how to use), brand new “going home” baby outfit, and we took dozens of pictures with the nurses as my wife was wheeled out in a wheel chair. This time, on the way up the elevator, I dumped crumbs and dirt out of the car seat which had been stuck in the seat since #2 used it over a year ago. There was no time for pictures because I was chasing my other kids through the hospital, and they kept barging into other new moms’ rooms on the maternity floor, first time parents who had no idea what was in store for them.

The first week home is much different too. As a first time parent, the first week home was torture. Learning how to diaper, feed, dress, and bathe a newborn. The seemingly non-stop crying (mostly the baby’s). This third time, the first week home was almost a vacation. I had a week off from work. The older kids were in preschool all day. We could go anywhere with a newborn and he just slept. Nice restaurants, peaceful meals. I played my best round of golf in five years, and bought a new car.

Of course, it hasn’t been all roses. I haven’t had more than two continuous hours of sleep in weeks. Chasing after two preschoolers on weekends is even tougher with a newborn in hand. And I won’t even go into what happens when a kid needs to go potty NOW but you are busy feeding a newborn. But, to all those first timers out there, struggling to get through those first weeks and months, take heart, it will get better the next time.

Things Nobody Tells You About Being A Dad

Most dads and dads-to-be are aware of the usual duties expected of them. Changing diapers, getting up in the middle of the night, being a human jungle gym. But there are many more realities that are impossible to predict or understand until you’ve been at it a while.

You are always the last one to eat. First you need to make sure the kids have their food. Then, you need to sit at the table with them to make sure they stay in their seats. Only after they have turned the table into a mess do you get to make your own dinner. And by then, you’ve finished off their cold hotdogs and mac & cheese so you aren’t hungry anymore.
If you want to eat adult food, you’d better 1) eat quickly and 2) hide. I eat Rice Krispies in the morning huddled over the sink so the kids can’t see what I’m doing. If I ate at the table, they would immediately stop eating their breakfast and demand to eat Rice Krispies “just like Daddy”. As cute as that sounds, it isn’t so cute when they only get a few in their mouth and the rest go on the floor to be stepped on and ground into the carpet.
Forget about watching sports while the kids are awake. It’s a well established fact that kids are not interested in something until you are. They will be very happy playing in the playroom, that is, until I turn on the TV to check the score. At that instant, they immediately stop playing with toys and want to watch Wiggles. I can’t wait until they get older and actually want to watch the game, at which point I will turn off the TV and say Time for homework!. Let’s see how that like that.

7 Things Expectant Parents Worry About But Shouldn’t

New parents, understandably, have a lot of things to worry about. The truth is that most of these worries will, in retrospect, seem silly, trivial, or downright funny.

1. Birth Plans – There are many resources about how to “plan” your child’s birth. All the details are prescribed, from music selection and lighting in the delivery room, to birthing position and pain relief choices. The Truth: The only plan is that there is no plan. All the assumptions you used to come up with your “plan” will be off, and you’ll want a completely new plan the moment contractions begin.
2. It’ll All Be Over After The Delivery – There is great anxiety and focus on the “event”. Baby showers, getting the nursery ready, birth plans (see #1). Dads especially are prone to this worry, after living with a pregnant women for so long and all that entails, they think, Ok, once the baby arrives it’ll be back to normal, exept now there will be another person. The Truth: The pregnancy and delivery are the easy part. It’s what comes next that you should really be worried about. Sleepless nights, uncontrolled crying, bathing, endless feedings, flaring tempers. After a few months, you’ll both long for the peace and quiet of pregnancy.

3. All Cribs Are Created Equal – There are fancy cribs with French and Italian names. Princess Cribs with canopies. Not to mention the special, upgraded, high-tech crib mattress so junior can sleep like a baby. The Truth: All new cribs sold today must meet certain safety standards. As long as you are buying from a legitimate retailer, it is safe. Babies will sleep (or not sleep) just as well in a basic crib without the deluxe mattress.

4. Clean Enough – New parents are obsessed with cleanliness. Bottles must be free of bacteria and anything that drops on the floor goes in the garbage. Sterilizers with digital displays that “communicate each phase of the sterilization cycle” are commonplace. The Truth: Soap and water gets bottles and toys plenty clean. Babies have been born all over the world for thousands of years before sterilizers came about, and somehow the human race managed to survive. The best advice when it comes to cleaning bottles? Buy a couple dozen so you never run out, and let the dishwasher do the washing for you.

5. All Carseats Are Created Equal – See #3.

6. Warm Enough – Bottle warmers are right up there with sterilizers. If you are bottle feeding, don’t get your kid hooked on warm milk, because that’s all they’ll want. Instead, mix the formula with room temperature water. There is a huge payoff when you go out with the baby, because you can keep a bottle of water handy and mix some formula anyplace, anytime, without worrying about warming it.

7. Disposable Is King – Thinking about using cloth diapers because they are better for the environment or baby? Get over it. Disposable diapers are up there with electricity and the automobile as something that made modern life better (that is, until the effects of global warming are upon us), and people will think you are a neanderthal if you choose not to use them.

What’s in a name? Everything.

An expectant dad has a lot of pressures and details to worry about. Getting the nursery ready, learning about which crib and car seats are the safest. Taking care of the mom-to-be’s cravings and whims. But nothing compares with the pressure of picking a name for your child. A name is a lifelong “gift” you give your kids, and if you get it wrong, it can have impacts for years to come.

A couple hundred years ago, choosing a name was much simpler. There were only a handful to choose from. Boys were John, William, or James. Girls were Mary, Margaret, or Sarah. Today, almost anything can pass as name, as celebrity babies Suri Cruise and Shiloh Pitt-Jolie will tell you.

You don’t want a name to be too common, so when the teacher calls their name in school five kids raise their hands. Luckily, the Social Security website publishes the 1000 most common names each year, so you can see how a name is trending in popularity. As an example, Abigail has been on the rise, moving from 500th place in the seventies to the 4th most popular name in 2005.

You also don’t want a name to be too unique. Unless you are a famous actor or singer, you’ll have to deal with the constant You named him what? and That’s not a real name! comments.

Don’t forget to test a name for the taunt factor, as in, will fifth graders be able to use it as a source of ridicule against your child. Richard is a prime example. Just ask Tricky Dick. Also, make sure it doesn’t rhyme with any body parts or bodily functions — e.g. Cooper (the pooper) and Dolores (remember the Seinfeld episode).

Thinking about a common name, but with an uncommon spelling? Think again. Just ask an Ashleigh, Madisyn, or Jayson how much they enjoy having everyone misspell their name.

It’s enough to make you crazy. Maybe they were right in the 1800s. Just stick to a few easy to spell, taunt proof names, so expectant dads can spend time worrying about important things – like which color to paint the baby’s room.

Best Toys For Kids

Have you ever noticed how kids love the toys at other people’s houses, more than their own, no matter how many they have? We have enough toys in our house to open a toy store, and my kids always seem to be bored and uninterested in them. But, when we go to someone else’s house, all the toys are suddenly so interesting and they’ll play quietly for hours.

I used to think, if we just got the toys their friends have, they’ll play just as quietly at home. But what I’ve learned is that it isn’t the toys that are interesting, it is the novelty. Even the best toys‘ novelty wears off in a matter of days. So which toys should you get? The short answer is, it doesn’t matter. What matters is how many you have available at any one time. I call it the Tip Of The Iceberg system. Only let your kids see some of the toys. When they get bored, replace some of the “old” toys with “new” ones.

If you really want to get your kids excited about a toy they haven’t seen in a while, put it in a wrapped box. Tell them Santa dropped it when he was hurrying back to the North Pole. Run out of actual toys? Find some objects around the house – crayons, tupperware, stuffed animals – and wrap them up.? Your kids will think it’s their birthday again, well, at least for a few hours until they are bored again.