I am a father of four, educated, with a respectable job and nice home. I should command respect and authority from my kids.
Apparently, that is not the case. SuburbanDaddy has become a source of laughter and joking at the expense of Things 1-3. Thing 4 is too young, but give her time, I’m sure she’ll join her brothers.
How do I get ridiculed by a seven, six, and especially four year old?
They make fun of my clothes: “Look at daddy’s socks! Ha ha. ” So what, I keep my dark socks on that I wore to work, when I come home and change into shorts. Changing socks would only create more laundry.
They make fun when I forget things, which is a lot these days. Lately, I can’t get their names straight. I often rattle through all three before getting the right one. “Get off your brother, Thing 2! I mean Thing 3! I mean Thing 1!” Instead of getting off, they just start laughing at me.
By far the worst abuse comes from Thing 3. He can completely crack himself up, hysterical laughter, just by saying something that is hilarious to an almost four year old.
“Daddy, you stink” will cause Thing 3 to laugh for ten minutes.
Then there is “Daddy, let me bop your coconut” which means he wants to hit me on the head with a soccer ball or golf club. Once he does, it’s very funny. Well, it is funny to him.
And there’s the latest one. We’ll be driving in the car, talking about ducks or clouds or firetrucks or whatever random thought catches his mind. Out of nowhere, Thing 3 will say:
“Hey Daddy! Daddy! ”
“Yes”
“You’re a joke”