Idle threats are usually enough to pursuade a three year old.
“Don’t throw your toy or it will break and we’ll have to throw it away. Is that what you want?”
“Nooo!”
Or when he doesn’t want to leave somewhere:
“OK. I’m leaving without you. Bye”. I usually start walking away for added effect, and after 10 seconds he gets upset and comes running.
It’s a strategy which generally works well, but now I think Thing 3 is onto me.
He insists on standing on his chair at the kitchen table. Literally, every 30 seconds I’m saying “Sit down” and he may or may not listen.
So I tried the idle threat strategy.
“Do you want to fall down and get a boo boo?”
It’s actually not idle, because he has actually fallen down on more than one occasion from standing on the chair, and got hurt. So I know he knows what I’m talking about.
His response: “Yes”
“You want to fall and get a boo boo?”
“Yes”
What do I possibly say to that?
Tell him that when he falls and hurt himself you will not feel sorry for him because it will be his own fault.
Very simple answer: OK.
And then completely ignore him while keeping a watchful eye on him. Harder to do than it sounds!
Sounds like he’s old enough to understand cause and effect.
So, yep, choose a painful consequence you will allow to happen that’s not too dangerous or _too_ painful.
Tell him before it happens, and then be there to remind him after it happens that you warned him not to do that.
Unfortunate but true, pain is a good teacher.
You are still parenting well when you allow consequences to come and help your kids to understand what lessons should be learned.