Vote For Me!
CafeMom bills itself as “the largest social-networking/community site for moms AND the leading women’s/parenting site on the internet”. 
Their other claim to fame is that Andrew Shue, of Melrose Place fame, is a co-founder.
SuburbanDaddy is a modern kind of guy, secure enough in his own parenting abilities and generally in touch with his mommy side. Most of my readers are moms, and I regularly follow and comment on mom blogs, and on other parenting community sites. I was welcomed, along with many other dad bloggers, into the BlogHer advertising network, “the community for women who blog”.
So I thought nothing of it when I registered for an account at CafeMom. Then, shortly after registering, I received this email:
Your CafeMom account has been canceled because the site is ONLY for moms and moms-to-be. We recommend a site like www.parentsconnect.com (no relation).
We appreciate your cooperation.
*The CafeMom Admin Team
How ridiculous is this? With the limited amount of information given at registration, I can only assume they determined I wasn’t a mom because I used suburbandaddy as a username. Please. I could easily have used a different username with mommy in it, and then they would have accepted me. What’s the point? Isn’t this 2008?
28 responses so far ↓
1 Sean // Apr 28, 2008 at 10:50 am
It’s so easy to fake “gender” in the fairly anonymous medium. So what’s the point of blocking non-moms? Plus, it’s just lame. Guess it’s not the “leading parenting site” if you’re a dad.
2 2lilpumpkins // Apr 28, 2008 at 11:48 am
That is really lame! What are dads??? Especially SAHD’s …….chopliver??? I truely think they are missing out on great opinions and and great advice from the “Dad” perspective.
3 Bill // Apr 28, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Those mothers.
4 Jenny // Apr 28, 2008 at 4:48 pm
How shallow! I follow several daddy blogs and they are so insightful and funny. Looking at something from a different point of view helps you learn. I wouldn’t imagine their community is very enriching if that is their attitude.
5 jason // Apr 28, 2008 at 6:47 pm
That’s just wrong.
6 divasis02 // Apr 29, 2008 at 9:59 am
uhhhh….cafeMOM??????? I don’t understand why you’re so bent out of shape about the fact that you were denied access to a site for…MOMS!
If you’re sooooooooooo interested in joining the site do as you said and change your screen name.
7 nichole // Apr 29, 2008 at 10:11 am
i dont understand why you would be offended. a woman on the website posted this article and called you a CAFEMOM SPY. i thought that was hilarious. but as i sit here and read your article i can’t help but think of how much of an idiot you are. if the website is called cafeMOM.. then that is what it is for. many women on the website feel like this is OUR place, no men allowed. we go on the website to get away from the men.. like our own little sanctuary. just because you are welcome on someone else’s website DOES NOT mean you are welcome at every single website. i am positive that there are men who are posing as women on this website, as any other website where people lie about their identity. guys just need to get over it.
8 razberry // Apr 29, 2008 at 11:03 am
ok so maybe i missed something why is it such a big deal for guys to be allowed on cafemom? why would you want to in the first place? there are sites specifically made for dads and there are sites for parents of both genders as well. why not just join those and leave cafemom to the moms. i know i feel like cafemom is one of the only places i can go to just talk to other moms. if i wanted to talk to dads i would call my husband!! Why would men want to take away one of the only “sanctuaries” we have on the internet. Just let cafemom be cafeMOM!!
9 vicky // Apr 29, 2008 at 11:21 am
LOL Oh my….just one question. Since when does a “mom” only play a role of “mom” and since when does “dad only play a role of “dad?” I think as any good parent we all have to play the roles of the stereotypical “mom” and “dad.” I agree that CafeMOM is focused on women, but REALLY…who cares if a “DAD” wants to join?? Get over the man thing…think of it as a parent thing. Real men are moms too.
10 suburbandaddy // Apr 30, 2008 at 5:09 am
Here is my response
11 Trysha // Apr 30, 2008 at 11:48 am
So these women would rather be duped into thinking your a mom to protect their cafeMOM euphoria?
Better to be a liar than a dad on a mom’s site? Ridiculous.
12 tanyetta // May 1, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Isn’t it funny (not really) how people LOVE to come out of lurking to just cuss you out. The name calling and all that? Wow. Just wow.
Fun times! :(
13 Kelby // May 2, 2008 at 6:49 pm
Ummm… what? Then perhaps they should fire half their CEOs, VPs, etc. Take a look at the sausage fest (sorry to be obnoxious, but I’m annoyed) here:
http://www.cafemom.com/about/people.php
Cafe Mom ticks me off. And it just seems unbelievable odd to alienate potential members like that.
I have had guys register at my Type-A Mom site, and submit articles. Instead of alienating them, I’ve actually taken that as a sign my husband and I should create a dad social network… apparently, dads need one. It’s coming soon.
Meanwhile, forget Cafe Mom. And good for you for exposing them.
14 James from Babyspot.com // May 2, 2008 at 7:06 pm
WOW! Two weeks ago I was personally kicked out of a group that was called “2008 babies” well as I am a very proud dad of my up coming baby being born on May 5, 2008 I joined! Three days later I was kicked out!! I did not saying anything but this is why I have made BabySpot.com inclusive not EXCLUSIVE! Although my site does not have some of the groups that they have.. yet….wait until you see what we are working on! All Moms and Dads are welcome!
Thanks for this blog! I feel like I was able to let some steam out…..
15 William // May 19, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Okay…Bill’s comment cracked me up.
16 Cathy // Aug 1, 2008 at 1:42 pm
No offense, but CafeMOM is for moms and moms-to-be. Why would you want to read about pregnacies, birth and periods???? I’m sure there are other sites out there for dads, if not, here’s your chance to create your own… start with CafeDAD!
17 Dana // Aug 13, 2008 at 11:24 pm
Yeah, start a CafeDAD, kick all of the moms out who try to join, and see where that gets you. The problem is there are those types of women out there who think they are entitled to have a place all their own, with no men allowed, and everyone should agree with it. But, if the tables were turned, and they were excluded based on their gender, those same women would bend over backwards to let the world know how unfairly they were treated. It’s a double standard like none other.
I, being a mom, enjoy CafeMom, but I can certainly see your point, as I have seen the double standard in action on many occasions.
18 Madison // Nov 12, 2008 at 6:02 pm
CafeMom is a sight for uptight women who have nothing else better to do then sit and bitch about how the baby is crying and they don’t have enough time to make dinner. Blah blah blah yet they sit at home ALL DAY!or how the kids love dad more (probably because HE DOESN’T BITCH! HELLO!!!) Pay attention people! Women are jealous creatures! I am sorry they treated you so unfairly. The double standard has got to stop! Keep fighting for Male equality. I am all for it!
19 Jimi Smith // Jan 8, 2009 at 11:14 am
CafeMomTags.com is the only place to upload, share, and track your CafeMom Images. Upload all of your favorite CafeMom Tags, Images, Graphics, Backgrounds, Animated GIF’s, and Photos with ease. CafeMomTags.com is a completly free service dedicated to providing a free, and easy to use image sharing solution for the CafeMom Community.
20 Eli // Mar 11, 2009 at 3:25 pm
I know the feeling. You should check out Parentricity http://www.parentricity.com which is open to both moms and dads and welcomes dads with open arms.
21 Krys // Apr 11, 2009 at 1:24 am
Are you really that butt hurt that you’re not wanted on cafeMOM? Omp… shut up and grow a pair. Talk about bitching!
22 Amanda // Jul 4, 2009 at 4:40 pm
Really dude? Strap on a pair. Why on earth would you want to be on CafeMOM in the first place? What could you possibly have to contribute?
You want to be a member? Fine. Here’s a little warm up for you:
How long after I give birth will I get my first period? Will it be light or heavy flow? When can I go back to using tampons?
Is it better to to use a hand held or electric pump to express breast milk? What does it mean when it comes out yellow instead of clear?
When my daughter poops neon green is it because of something she ate or should I take her to a doctor?
How often should I be doing kegals to keep my vagina from ripping when I deliver?
WHat’s that? You don’t kow? Did any of those questions make you uncomfortable? Then cafeMOM is not the place for you.
Go toss a football or fix something why don’t you.
23 Mom2be // Jul 5, 2009 at 12:47 pm
While I understand that dad’s would want parenting advice as well, I think the best part of cafemom is that is it supposedly a female based site.
Where else I can I go and discuss eating the placenta to help hemorrhaging and PPD after delivery.
Well, I guess I’m not -that- uncomfortable with discussing it around men. Lol.
Cafemom should create a daddy site though.
24 A good parent // Jul 30, 2009 at 8:15 am
Its just encouraging males to lie, which ironically they do not want and is one of their chief concerns regarding “bad people”, but what choice are they really giving non-mothers to do? Even women without kids are kicked out, not just men.
If they want a member to be a mother, then they’ll say they are a mother and get what they need anyway. Until there’s a way to physically stop someone, they’re going to join anyway. “Men aren’t allowed” isn’t enough of a deterent. They are parents, too.
This is a top “parenting” advice website. As such if someone is determined enough, they will find a way.
In the case of Cafemom, there isn’t much you have to do to get around the “Moms Only” restriction and just sign up and you’re in for good and can get some great parenting insight as long as you play it cool and don’t give yourself away somehow.
25 A good parent // Jul 30, 2009 at 8:18 am
to add: Cafemom doesn’t only talk about female issues. In fact they talk about A LOT of non-parenting and non-gender specific topics, making the gender restriction all the more illogical.
True, most guys don’t want to see posts about pregnancies and breastfeeding, so they don’t go to those threads. But there’s litereally 1000s of other threads that they will be interested in.
It really is dumb to have rule you feel so strong about that you cant’ truly enforce.
26 John // Sep 5, 2009 at 1:28 pm
I think its retarded your so upset about Cafemom rejecting you. Its not discrimination, its simply a site geared for moms. You shouldnt be interested anyway, unless youre some type of fruit basket…but maybe you are.
Second, to “Amanda” and all the other sexist acting bitches that are posting. Ya, its retarded he got so offended at Cafemom, but its also equally as stupid that you would sit here and act like a dad doesnt know jack shit about their child or even as weird as it sounds, their wives menstrual cycle. You think you know everything, but if your husband is doing what he should, he should be holding your hand through every step of life, and learning about things on the way. So whos to say he couldnt contribute in some way? fucking moron.
27 RAF // Jan 14, 2010 at 4:31 pm
Always humorous to see women go froth at the mouth, call you retarded, an idiot, etc… when all you are doing is asking for some parity in the whole “equality” thing.
Years of screaming for equal rights and access to everything… huge protests, forced entry into “Men Only” organizations… but boy, you want to join a community dedicated to Moms (which should be an HONOR to them – a man wanting to learn from their wisdom) and LOOK at all the Banshees wailing…
Amazing… you women are the equivalent of your misogynistic male counterparts from the 1920’s.
Brilliantly executed, and well played.
28 esma // Mar 12, 2010 at 3:12 am
why would a man want to join cafemom? hmmm let’s see..there are a couple of groups (including my own) where the girls like to post sexy pics of themselves.granted nudity is not allowed but there is alot of breast and other body parts the girls like to show off.there are lesbian groups who has very hot stories about other women,personally if i were a man i would love to join these groups.that is the only reason(unless your gay)i think a man would want to join.cafemom is the only place where i can just be myself and not have to worry being messed with by a man!!
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