CafeMom bills itself as “the largest social-networking/community site for moms AND the leading women’s/parenting site on the internet”. 
Their other claim to fame is that Andrew Shue, of Melrose Place fame, is a co-founder.
SuburbanDaddy is a modern kind of guy, secure enough in his own parenting abilities and generally in touch with his mommy side. Most of my readers are moms, and I regularly follow and comment on mom blogs, and on other parenting community sites. I was welcomed, along with many other dad bloggers, into the BlogHer advertising network, “the community for women who blog”.
So I thought nothing of it when I registered for an account at CafeMom. Then, shortly after registering, I received this email:
Your CafeMom account has been canceled because the site is ONLY for moms and moms-to-be. We recommend a site like www.parentsconnect.com (no relation).
We appreciate your cooperation.
*The CafeMom Admin Team
How ridiculous is this? With the limited amount of information given at registration, I can only assume they determined I wasn’t a mom because I used suburbandaddy as a username. Please. I could easily have used a different username with mommy in it, and then they would have accepted me. What’s the point? Isn’t this 2008?
15 responses so far ↓
1 Sean // Apr 28, 2008 at 10:50 am
It’s so easy to fake “gender” in the fairly anonymous medium. So what’s the point of blocking non-moms? Plus, it’s just lame. Guess it’s not the “leading parenting site” if you’re a dad.
2 2lilpumpkins // Apr 28, 2008 at 11:48 am
That is really lame! What are dads??? Especially SAHD’s …….chopliver??? I truely think they are missing out on great opinions and and great advice from the “Dad” perspective.
3 Bill // Apr 28, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Those mothers.
4 Jenny // Apr 28, 2008 at 4:48 pm
How shallow! I follow several daddy blogs and they are so insightful and funny. Looking at something from a different point of view helps you learn. I wouldn’t imagine their community is very enriching if that is their attitude.
5 jason // Apr 28, 2008 at 6:47 pm
That’s just wrong.
6 divasis02 // Apr 29, 2008 at 9:59 am
uhhhh….cafeMOM??????? I don’t understand why you’re so bent out of shape about the fact that you were denied access to a site for…MOMS!
If you’re sooooooooooo interested in joining the site do as you said and change your screen name.
7 nichole // Apr 29, 2008 at 10:11 am
i dont understand why you would be offended. a woman on the website posted this article and called you a CAFEMOM SPY. i thought that was hilarious. but as i sit here and read your article i can’t help but think of how much of an idiot you are. if the website is called cafeMOM.. then that is what it is for. many women on the website feel like this is OUR place, no men allowed. we go on the website to get away from the men.. like our own little sanctuary. just because you are welcome on someone else’s website DOES NOT mean you are welcome at every single website. i am positive that there are men who are posing as women on this website, as any other website where people lie about their identity. guys just need to get over it.
8 razberry // Apr 29, 2008 at 11:03 am
ok so maybe i missed something why is it such a big deal for guys to be allowed on cafemom? why would you want to in the first place? there are sites specifically made for dads and there are sites for parents of both genders as well. why not just join those and leave cafemom to the moms. i know i feel like cafemom is one of the only places i can go to just talk to other moms. if i wanted to talk to dads i would call my husband!! Why would men want to take away one of the only “sanctuaries” we have on the internet. Just let cafemom be cafeMOM!!
9 vicky // Apr 29, 2008 at 11:21 am
LOL Oh my….just one question. Since when does a “mom” only play a role of “mom” and since when does “dad only play a role of “dad?” I think as any good parent we all have to play the roles of the stereotypical “mom” and “dad.” I agree that CafeMOM is focused on women, but REALLY…who cares if a “DAD” wants to join?? Get over the man thing…think of it as a parent thing. Real men are moms too.
10 suburbandaddy // Apr 30, 2008 at 5:09 am
Here is my response
11 Trysha // Apr 30, 2008 at 11:48 am
So these women would rather be duped into thinking your a mom to protect their cafeMOM euphoria?
Better to be a liar than a dad on a mom’s site? Ridiculous.
12 tanyetta // May 1, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Isn’t it funny (not really) how people LOVE to come out of lurking to just cuss you out. The name calling and all that? Wow. Just wow.
Fun times! :(
13 Kelby // May 2, 2008 at 6:49 pm
Ummm… what? Then perhaps they should fire half their CEOs, VPs, etc. Take a look at the sausage fest (sorry to be obnoxious, but I’m annoyed) here:
http://www.cafemom.com/about/people.php
Cafe Mom ticks me off. And it just seems unbelievable odd to alienate potential members like that.
I have had guys register at my Type-A Mom site, and submit articles. Instead of alienating them, I’ve actually taken that as a sign my husband and I should create a dad social network… apparently, dads need one. It’s coming soon.
Meanwhile, forget Cafe Mom. And good for you for exposing them.
14 James from Babyspot.com // May 2, 2008 at 7:06 pm
WOW! Two weeks ago I was personally kicked out of a group that was called “2008 babies” well as I am a very proud dad of my up coming baby being born on May 5, 2008 I joined! Three days later I was kicked out!! I did not saying anything but this is why I have made BabySpot.com inclusive not EXCLUSIVE! Although my site does not have some of the groups that they have.. yet….wait until you see what we are working on! All Moms and Dads are welcome!
Thanks for this blog! I feel like I was able to let some steam out…..
15 William // May 19, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Okay…Bill’s comment cracked me up.
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