Thing 1: Would a dog be a good pet?
SuburbanMommy: Yes
Thing 1: Would a cat be a good pet?
SuburbanMommy: Yes, a cat is a good pet
Thing 1: Would a whale shark be a good pet?
SuburbanMommy: Probably not
Thing 2: An Oreo is a good pet!
Month: July 2007
Kids Say The Funniest Things #2
[after a successful potty attempt]
Thing 1: Going poopie helps your penis get bigger
SuburbanDaddy: What?!
Thing 1: When your penis goes up, the poopie comes down
SuburbanDaddy: Where did you hear that?
Thing 1: From you, daddy
Kids Say The Funniest Things #1
[Car passes us while driving]
Thing 1: Daddy, why are you driving so slow?
SuburbanDaddy: I’m not driving slow. He’s driving fast.
Thing 1: The policeman will stop him and give him a timeout. That’s what happens when you go too fast.
[thinks for a little bit]
Thing 1: Do race cars get timeouts?
What New Parents Learn
New parents learn very quickly that late night TV, and especially early morning, sucks. I’m writing this at 5:45am, after watching the end of what could be the worst movie ever made – Staying Alive. It’s the sequel to a very good movie, but they should have known it was off to a bad start when they got Sylvester Stallone to direct a movie about Broadway dancers. But then again, this was around the time of some of Stallone’s best work like Rhinestone. How do I fall back asleep after watching something this bad?
When Make Believe Becomes Real
When Thing 1 and Thing 2 are in hyper-mode, like after they’ve had a bowl of ice cream and we’re trying to get them to bed, it’s near impossible to calm them down. Sometimes, I play a game where I tell them to give me their “sillies”, and I pretend to put them in my pocket. I tell them I’ll give them back once they get into bed. Believe it or not, it sometimes works. Tonight, I had this exchange with Thing 2
Me: Give me your sillies
Thing 2: No!! (runs out of room with shirt on head)
Me: Ok, I’m taking them (I pretend to swallow them)
At this point, he breaks into hysterics, wailing that he wants his sillies back. He thought I really swallowed them, and he couldn’t be silly anymore. I couldn’t help but laugh. I guess whatever daddy says is believable at this age. I can’t wait to see what happens when I tell him about the boogie man under his bed!