Negotiations and Payoffs

The two parties sit down at the table and arrive at a mutually agreeable solution. Later, as emotions run high and tempers are flaring, a small, unmarked package exchanges hands and crisis is averted. Middle East peace negotiations? Shady lobbyists bribing corrupt politicians? No, this is just a regular day in the life of Suburban Daddy.

How is it that young kids are such expert negotiators? Bedtime becomes a negotiation of how many books to read, who gets to brush their teeth first, whether to wear the soccer or baseball pajamas, and if the pajamas have long pants or shorts. As a parent, the only bargaining leverage you have are the many rewards at your disposal. Did I say rewards? That’s the politically correct way to say bribes. Yes, I bribe my kids. And so do you, according to this poll.

Apparently, rewards are good but bribes are bad. I say there isn’t much difference as long as it works. Bribes – oh, I meant rewards – don’t need to be much to be effective. The trick as a parent is to get the behavior you want, with the smallest possible payout. Potty training is the perfect place for bribes. Suburban Preschooler was 98% potty trained, then regressed where he started to have daily accidents. Now, anytime he goes poop in the potty, he gets an Oreo. Bribery you say? I say three days without accidents. Sure, it works against you sometimes. Like when he asks What am I going to get? before going potty. But, I don’t have to clean poop.

What do you use to bribe your kids? Let me know in a comment.

First Organized Soccer Experience

This weekend was the first “game” in our mini-soccer league. Soccer is way more popular than when I was growing up. It’s the first organized sport kids can play, starting at age 3, though I use the term organized loosely.

Mini soccer works like this…each kid brings his own ball and wears shin guards. Who knew they made shin guards in size 3T? A soccer academy trainer leads the kids through some games involving basic soccer skills. In later sessions, there may be actual “games”, which should prove quite entertaining.

My 3 y.o. was very eager to start playing. We’ve been talking about it for weeks. We got to the field early. He jumped right in and ran through all the drills. That is, until, during a round of soccer tag, he was hit in the ear by another kid and then wanted to go home. Oh well, hopefully his memory will be short, and his soccer career will be longer than just the 20 minutes of glory this weekend.? There is always tee ball.

People without kids have a big advantage

Kids are an enormous productivity drain. I have a todo list that only seems to grow, no matter how much I manage to get done. There just aren’t enough hours in the day. Case in point: It’s been 3 weeks since I made a blog entry. Any free moment I manage to squeeze in (usually in the car or the bathroom), my mind goes blank and I drift into the daddy fog. You know, that feeling you get in your car when you can’t remember the last 10 minutes.

All great inventions and ideas came from people before they had kids. Thomas Edison, Benjamin Franklin, Bill Gates, Henry Ford. There’s no way they could have come up with the light bulb and automobile otherwise. The most productive countries, measured by GDP, are those with the lowest birth rates. Ok, I’m just guessing at that one, but it wouldn’t surprise me…